Enlightenment and ego

‘Ego’ is often described as the ‘enemy’ or a ‘barrier’ to enlightenment. It can seem to be the source of fear - usually felt around the chest or stomach area - that can be experienced as a sense of separation, or lead to the conclusion that ‘enlightenment’ (its ‘demise’) is dangerous or not something that is wanted. 

‘Ego death’ and ‘enlightenment’ are often equated together, and so an intense sense of fear surrounding ‘enlightenment’ would make sense for one on this, for want of a better word, ‘path’. 

The ego doesn’t want to die. Nothing separate wants to dissolve into nothingness. Therefore there will never be a ‘choice’ to become enlightened. No amount of temptation will convince someone to cease their ‘existence’. Unless they are confident what’s ‘on the other side’ is better. And perhaps this is why books or articles are written. To convince an ‘ego’ to lay down its arms. To surrender. To face the fear, knowing it will not destroy anything that is truly worthwhile. 

The ‘ego’ will never do this voluntarily, although it can be very convincing in its attempts to stay relevant. There is no choice because there is no real ‘chooser’, although the sense of separation may attempt to convince otherwise. 

This may be perhaps be frustrating to hear… For the ego. And that is not to dismiss anyone’s pain or struggle. The sense of separation and fear can feel very real. 

Yet rather than denigrating or attempting to bypass or ‘defeat’ the ego, a helpful reframe may be to see it as a frightened guard. It isn’t sure what it’s protecting is good for us. It fears having ‘access’ to what’s beyond’ will lead to the decimation of the entire self. It doesn’t yet realise it is separate. And the only thing that ‘goes’ is this separation. The split. The barrier. 

The guard will be lowered when the ‘ego’ feels safe enough to do so. When it trusts that what is ‘beyond’ is not going to destroy life. That is the ultimate sacrifice. Death. In service, and faith in, love.